Can I just say that naming a human is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in life? Jaylen was easier to name than Julian because his father pretty much took over. Finding out that his first child was going to be a boy was all the motivation he needed. When I did try to throw my two cents in, I lost the battle. I agreed that his first name could be Jaylen, but we fought for many months about his middle name Elijah. I wanted to shorten it to “Eli” or give him the middle name of “Amir” so he wouldn’t be that kid growing up still filling in the name bubbles on his standardized tests in school. His dad was not having it. Ultimately we.. or should I say he made the decision to keep it Elijah.. literally the minute I was filling out his birth certificate.

We planned on having another baby, just not this soon, so he agreed that I would have full reigns of naming our second child.

I wish we wouldn’t have done that. I had girl names picked out from when I was pregnant with Jaylen but like I said before I didn’t even look at boy names because I was convinced that I was having a girl. It took three months to come up with Julian and I’m still not 100% satisfied. I knew for sure I wanted his name to either start with a “K” or “J”. I hated every K name I found and pretty much all of J names don’t sit well with me.

I attempted to narrow down my list to 15 names. I looked at it every day and started my process of elimination. I repeated the names several times a day. I practiced saying the names with my son’s name. I wrote them down over and over. Finally after reaching the halfway mark in my pregnancy, I chose the one.


Slowly, I introduced the name to my close friends and family. Everyone loved it… except…

My oldest sister and the boys father, Jeremy. 

Both oddly agreed that it was a “white boy” name which I feel is rude and ignorant. They proceeded to bark at me to change it. The joy that I once had about FINALLY picking a name was quickly stripped away. I don’t feel like a name should be associated with a race. A name is a name. Period.

My thing is why should what I name my child matter to you? Why do people have such strong opinions about what others name their kids? Freaking Beyonce named her child a color and people still worship her!

When I told them the name, I was about 70% satisfied with the name but their ignorance made me love it even more. Naming a child is HARD. You don’t realize it until you’re sitting there with millions of baby names in front of you. This name will stick with them for the rest of their life. This is the first thing people will see on their school assignments, resumes, and job applications… this name will identify them. It’s nerve wrecking!