I really regret the way I fed Jaylen for the first year of his life. I absolutely failed at breastfeeding. At the time, we weren’t financially stable and every parenting/birthing class cost a million dollars. So I attempted to teach myself through YouTube videos. What these videos failed to inform me was that if I didn’t use my supply like I should then my supply would slowly decrease day by day until milk production stopped altogether. I don’t know why I just thought milk would swim in my boobs for at least a year.

They also failed to mention that newborns eat like every freaking minute of the day. I would feed him then two hours later he would cry and I would automatically think that my milk was not filling him up so I would give him a couple ounces of formula instead of just giving him the boob again.

I was extremely jealous of friends and family who were successful at breastfeeding… they all shared one thing in common: SMALL BOOBS. I was sitting there with my triple D’s struggling & thinking that I was suffocating my baby every time I fed him while my friends were just able to pop their kids on and off with ease.

All of these things plus the stress of taking 15 credit hours at my university, lack of food intake, and working with a single breastpump, my breastfeeding journey ended at about 5 weeks postpartum.

I was DEVASTATED.

My plan was to breastfeed Jay until he started to get teeth, but my milk supply vanished before my baby was able to hold his own head up!

I don’t want to knock down any moms who feed their babies formula. I personally hate it. I cried when I had to officially switch over completely. I don’t trust formula. I read the back of a can of formula once and noticed that it’s not sterile. That’s why they want you to boil the water and mix the formula the water while it’s still somewhat hot in order to kill bacteria. There’s something about that powder… I just… don’t… trust.

I’m hoping to be more successful with Julian. I plan to breastfeed until he is at least 6 months old. I have purchased a double breast pump from Medela for when I return back to work. I also took several breastfeeding classes, because of course one is not enough (jokes). And I’m currently stocking up on every high-quality maternity bra I can find …. on sale because they’re freaking expensive.

Whether you breast or bottle feed your child, you’re feeding them and that’s all that matters. No need to explain your reason for why you chose to do it a certain way.

Happy feeding mamas! 🙂

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