You are being judged. You are being judged by every single person around you, whether it’s a friend, family or an enemy. No one lives life not questioning the actions of another person… even God is judging you.

I know for a fact I am being judged. I have two kids out of wedlock. I’m a black, independent woman. I don’t speak to my kid’s father… oh I KNOW I’m being judged. But guess what,

I. don’t. care.

If I were to wake up every day and think about all the things people say about me or might think about me, I would lose my mind. And if I sat there and listened to half of the stuff, I would never grow as a person.

My job has this motto “if you’re not growing, you’re dying”. I’m not sure if someone in the company made that up or if it’s an old saying but it stuck with me when I first heard it. Growth includes facing fears, facing stereotypes, and facing judgments held against you. It means fighting through the unnecessary and unwelcome comments and simply doing what YOU want to do.

The reason why I’m writing about this is because a friend of mine became … I guess frustrated recently because they were giving me advice that I did not ask for nor did I want to hear it. Now, don’t get me wrong I’m all for unsolicited advice but the person on the other end of the stick should respect the fact that I don’t actually have to use the advice given. I really just had to sit down and explain that to them.

It’s great to get advice from people, but it’s up to you if you want to apply it or let it drift off in the wind. Making your own decisions helps you maintain control over your own life, your hands are the only things on the steering wheel. You can choose to go left, right or just flip the entire car around and drive in the opposite direction. Just because you choose to go down your path, doesn’t make the other person wrong. It means you decided it wasn’t right for you at the moment.