This post is WAY overdue but I wanted to include Julian’s first-year photos and they weren’t quite ready yet.. but guess what? My baby is no longer a baby anymore… well officially.
On January 15, 2017, my second born turned one and the week leading up to the big day was filled with emotion. I spent every minute observing him… trying to not to miss a single thing, trying to figure out how this year flew by so fast, and also trying to figure out how I can stop time.
I said I didn’t want to have any more kids and I still joke about it with friends and family but who am I fooling? Why should I deprive my husband of something he may want just because of my own selfish feelings?
I guess what I mean by not wanting more kids is that I don’t want them right now or in the near future! I don’t want to create another life with an empty soul. I don’t want to be responsible for another human that’s not brought into this world through love.
I don’t regret my children, I could and would NEVER. My boys are my EVERYTHING. But their father and I robbed them of having a life that is different than our own. Not saying their life will be horrible but there will be times where they will question themselves and their entire existence because of US.
Julian was sent from God. He came at a time when I needed him most. Once again, I was in a very dark place in my life and he provided the right amount of light. These boys give me purpose. They give me the drive to keep doing what I should be doing and the strive to do MORE. They are taught me love. They removed the hate from my heart and replaced it with positive thoughts and emotions.
Julian started walking at nine months, around the same time as Jaylen. He has four teeth and curly long hair. Ju-Ju is a happy, chunky toddler. He loves life. He exudes positivity and radiates energy. He’s smart and has already developed a personality of his own. He’s so attached to his momma and I love every minute of it since Jaylen is his father’s child. He loves his brother. You would think these two were in the womb together by the way they interact. They hate being apart.