The Life of a Young Mama

weekly blog about a mom of two.

A wittle peek inside… — March 28, 2017

A wittle peek inside…

I was a man for a day. Not literally but mentally. I was able to sit down and have a deep conversation with several of my male associates. I got answers to many of my burning questions.

Have you cheated before?

Not surprised by the amount of “yes” I received. I was surprised by the people that said it because 8 out of 10 of them admitted to cheating on their current spouse… I’m talking relationships of 3+ years. These are some relationships that I used to envy. I guess everything that glitters ain’t gold.

Do you regret what you did?

Absolutely not. Everyone said it was worth it.

Wow.

A bit of a sad response but once again, I’m not surprised.

Why did you cheat? 

Many did it because of their unhappiness and dissatisfaction with their spouse. One said he cheated because he wanted to “get it out of his system before he got married”. Get what out of your system? The foundation you’re laying is rocky. You’re trying to build a relationship out of lies and unfaithfulness. Say the woman never finds out that you’re cheating and you get married, is it really going to be that easy to cut off a lifestyle you’ve had for months (maybe years) all because you have a ring on your finger?

I had a few say that they just loved to have sex. Okay, so what was your partner not doing to help satisfy your needs? Did you express that to them or did you expect them to figure it out on their own? Communication is key, guys.

Another interesting answer was that his woman “liked to be in control of everything and never let him be a man” so he “found someone who gave him his balls back”.

L – O – L.

Now I understand the whole pride thing. A lot of men feel the need to run the sh*t show. They want women to be submissive to them, be their yes man. That’s fine and all…. when you have a man who is able to handle that type of control. Some men can’t.

Good example is my ex. He tried and all he did was run our lives into a black hole. Our finances? Shambles. Our living situation? A fucking nightmare. Every time I gave him an inch of hope, he dragged us out a whole mile into nothingness. It was embarrassing. He didn’t have a mind of his own, he couldn’t handle his own life much less handle two others as well. He wasn’t ready to be “the man of the house” so I had to step up and fill shoes he was nowhere near fitting.

I think men and women forget that sometimes relationships fail because of our own flaws. It’s so easy to put the blame on others that sometimes we forget to analyze our own actions.

What do you bring to the table? Maybe the reason behind your unhappiness in a relationship stems from the lack of resources you provide.

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Super glue. — March 19, 2017

Super glue.

What is a leech? A female who literally cannot do anything without their spouse. They work and/or go to school and then run home to sit in their man’s face. Dats it. They just sit there… staring into his soul while he minds his own business, tending to his everyday activities while their girl is ignoring friends, family, and everything that doesn’t have to do with their man.

Most people would say I’m “bitter” because I’m not in a relationship. Well, that’s definitely not the case. I found leeches to be annoying while I had a whole a** man. Others might say that my exes have cheated on me so I haven’t experienced the type of love the leeches have. But naw, not every single man I’ve been with cheated on me. I have experienced the type of love when you want to be up under your man every single chance you get. But that type of love has never made me put aside my friends and family or my whole personal goals. Honestly 9 times out out ten, the man wants some space and doesn’t know how to tell the female. It’s very rare to see those feelings are mutual.

I have a few friends like this. We will make plans but they will drop me for their man in a hot quick minute. Now, I wouldn’t mind if they dropped out plans for a legitimate date with their boy toy. But they’re dropping our plans to sit and watch their man play a video game or watch him sleep. Am I just a bad friend? Am I not fun enough for you? 

I. Don’t. Get. IT.

What happens when all the left-behind friends are gone and now the man you threw them away for betrays you?  What are you going to do now that you’re all alone?

I’m really struggling trying to maintain some of the friendships I have in my life. It requires too much time and energy to keep trying with some people.

There’s more to life than your significant other.

Yes, it’s okay to be obsessed with someone but it’s okay to breathe a little. Take a little break from them and show appreciation to the other people you have in your life.

Listen… if a full-time working mother of two can clear her schedule for you, you can drop your man every once in awhile.

 `Ugly-Cute-Clingy-Girlfriend

S-E- — March 3, 2017

S-E-

Forewarning: this post may be little much but whatever. If you’re comfortable reading about sex, then continue to read. If not, then I’ll see you next week!

Sooo let’s dive right into it..

I’m clearly not a virgin. I’m a woman with needs or whatever you want to call it. And yeah, I’m not married (never been married) so bite me if you think my life decisions are “wrong” .

Trust and believe I’ve heard the lecture far too many times. My grandmother still to this day mentions it and I’m like um, ya know it’s a little too late for that ya know? Don’t get me wrong, if you believe in abstinence then DO YOU BOO BOO. I totally don’t knock anyone’s decision to wait until marriage. I chose not to. Why? Because I don’t want to wait until marriage and find out my husband has a 0.5 inch penis and no stroke game. Then I’m stuck with this for the rest of my life.

MY LIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEE.

My WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.

Before I get married, I want to do everything with my man. I want to live together because being with someone and LIVING with someone are two different things and two VERY different people. I want to connect with them on every level: physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually. I feel that this will help us to know if we’re completely satisfied with one another.

The reason why I’m talking about sex is because I’ve chosen to wait a while before crossing that line with the person that I’m interested in. Before I was like oh hey, let’s do the deed. Maybe not the first night but after a couple of dates… but now I’m waiting, really waiting. The guys that have recently tried to talk to me are extremely pissed. But I guess that’s a good thing! It shows me that they weren’t really into me, they were more interested in the power that I carry down under.

In no way, shape, or form, do I think this will help me find my true love faster. I have friends who literally will sleep with any guy they think that’s cute and then I have friends who are practicing abstinence. Both sides have failed and successful relationships. So in reality, it doesn’t matter what you chose to with your va-jay-jay… every situation is different but neither have a better success rate than the other.

I think this decision has helped me to clear my head and open my eyes. I’m thinking with my right mind and not my ripe vag.

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