The Life of a Young Mama

weekly blog about a mom of two.

Grow some. — January 22, 2017

Grow some.

Men all over the world,  I need you to do me one favor:

GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.

Not all of you but a good chunk of you are embarrassing. I’ve been told many of times that I am intimidating. They said they’re “not used to a woman who is doing everything with no handouts” and that they’re “impressed but intimidated because they feel challenged”.

Excuse me, WHAT? 

Am I doing something wrong? Is it wrong for me to have a job, a roof over my head, and a decent vehicle? Is it wrong for me to want a man but not need one? Or am I just attracting the wrong group of men?

I feel like if you have your sh*t together, no one should intimate you. My life is not perfect nor will I sit here and act like I don’t ask for help every now and then. I am doing what I thought I was supposed to do as a 24-year-old woman with two kids. To be honest, I don’t even feel like I’m doing enough!

These men that approach me don’t even take the time out to get to know me before judging my life.

I’ve been told I look expensive but little do they know I’m the queen of sales and rarely buy anything full price. I’ve been told that I look bougie but they don’t even realize I’ll pick eating chicken wings from the hood coney island over a five-star restaurant ANY DAY.

I’m sorry that you’re used to a female walking around with nothing going for themselves. I’m sorry that my lifestyle is something strange for you. Maybe you should stop looking for a wife in a woman who can’t even afford a piece of gum. Maybe you should have higher standards for yourself and the women you pick to stick your peen peen in.

I’m not knocking anyone who has one night stands or go into strickly sex relationships. But that’s not what I want. I guess expecting a man to pursue ME and not my pants is intimidating, right? Wow, you actually have to try to get to know me! It’s so hard I know.

And I repeat:

I KNOW ALL MEN ARE NOT LIKE THIS.

I genuinely appreciate the ones that are not. Understand that you are a rare breed and you should not settle as well!

But to the rest of you imbeciles…

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Relationship goals? — January 18, 2017

Relationship goals?

Did you catch Obama’s farewell speech? Can we take a moment and talk about the way Obama drooled over his wife? Out of a room filled with thousands of people, he stared in her eyes like she was the only one in attendance.

What are relationship goals?

I mean do we really want to go around having the same relationship as someone else? Everything looks good from the outside but you have to take a bite to reveal what’s on the inside to find out if you like it or not. President Obama and his wife could have a horrible relationship but know how to put on a good face in public. I mean I highly doubt it but WE WILL NEVER KNOW.

There’s a lot of couples that I used to admire on social media, a lot of them were people I knew personally! They always looked so happy and in love but then the tables turned over one day to reveal some deep, dark and ugly behavior. Same with my last relationship. When it ended, a few people expressed how shocked they were because they viewed us as

Same with my last relationship. When it ended, a few people expressed how shocked they were because they viewed us as “relationship goals”. Some people found it hard to believe that we were going through things because of the great face we put on in public.

Honestly, that’s how it should be. I hate to watch couples go through things on social media. I hardly know half of them but can tell you the when, where, and why behind EVERY argument they have. I know people seek attention but it’s embarrassing. I know from experience because I used to do the same thing in my younger days.

I don’t really have relationship goals. I don’t admire my relationship to be like anyone else.

Butttttttt……

I’m also not saying that I don’t take tips and tricks from another relationships. You can appreciate qualities that others show in their whatever-ship.

Remain humble.

You will find that man is ready to commit to you 100%.

You find someone who isn’t afraid of showing you off to the world.

You will find that woman who will cook you dinner every night.

You will find your Michelle and Obama.

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Never satisfied. — January 13, 2017

Never satisfied.

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”

I want more. I don’t know how to get it but I want it. I think I may have set too many goals for myself this year… or is that even possible?

I’ve been battling back and forth with my job for the last couple of weeks. Things have been pretty hectic in the office and a lot of changes have occurred. I hate change but I hate being at a stand still. I’m confusing, I know.

Okay… I wouldn’t necessarily say I hate change but I hate sudden, unexpected change. Give me time to prepare and adapt. Give me some type of warning.

The changes that have happened recently have opened my eyes to my current position. It sparked a fire inside me to go get more.

BUT HOW.

I don’t know what path I should take to get there. I don’t know which way I should move. I am completely lost.

It feels like everyone around me is moving at speeds that I want to be. That growth and progression that I’m trying to get seems to come so easy for others.

Have you ever felt like you will never be satisfied? You constantly want more and more for yourself but will that desire ever die? Will I ever get to that level of satisfaction and contentment?

I try to tell myself that I am blessed every day. Maybe it is selfish of me to be so dissatisfied when there are plenty of others who are nowhere near my status in life. But if I shoot down my wants and desires for more, is that settling?

I’m tired of adulting. I think I gave the grown-up life a try but it’s not working out for me. I quit. lol

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Twenty seventeen. — December 31, 2016

Twenty seventeen.

I am BEYOND excited for 2017 to finally arrive. 2016 was a great year. The good definitely surpassed the bad events that occurred in my life. I started the year off right with the birth of Julian and a few short weeks after I was hired at my current job! I went through the sh*ts with their dad for a few months but I finally opened my eyes and realized my worth. Left him in the summer and my life has been LIT since then. Blessings on blessings have been flowing.

I have major milestones and goals I want to achieve in 2017.

  1. Buy a new vehicle
  2. Pay off my credit cards
  3. Open a savings account
  4. Land a management position at my job
  5. TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL
  6. Start a YouTube Channel
  7. Gain more followers on my blog

I also want to continue to spread positivity! There are so many things wrong in this world and I think sometimes we forget to recognize the good.

I know this time next year everything on this more and maybe a few other things added will be checked off. I’m claiming it now.

A lot of people are “leaving things in 2016” but I’m focusing on what I’m bringing into the new year. I’m bringing amazing friends and my supportive family. I can honestly say that there is not one person in my group of love that I doubt.

I’m stepping into 2017 with my confidence on level 100.

Bring it on 2017.

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Chronicles of dating… — December 11, 2016

Chronicles of dating…

There’s really married a** men out here cheating. I hear the stories all the time but never was approached by one. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been hit on by men in relationships.. but I’m talking about girlfriends or situationships.. NEVER a married man..  SIX-year long marriage to be exact.

I  will not say names. Let’s just say he’s a very popular guy in the metro Detroit area. When he first slid in my DMs on Instagram, I didn’t think anything of it. Then he slid the # of one of his two phones into my inbox as well without me asking for it. :/

He rarely posts his wife on social media nor does she attend any of the bigger events in the area with him. Last time I saw her on his page was about a year or two ago, so I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt… ya know maybe they’re separated or divorced and he didn’t make it public. I wanted to get the truth out before I just dismissed him altogether.

So how do you ask a man if he’s married without actually asking?

Simple: you don’t.

Come on, if I would’ve come straight out and asked him he would lie duh. What cheating man do you know or have heard of that’s just like “yeah, I’m married”.

My friend and I turned into inspector gadget and sure enough, he’s “happily” married or he is on Facebook. He posted his wife exactly a month ago expressing his “love”. They have three very young children together as well.

LORDT. 

He’s cool person  but I don’t know if keeping a friendship with him is the right thing to do. I feel very uncomfortable it all.

Now, on the other hand, I’ve been talking to this guy I met in October. He lives an hour away and he has come to visit me almost every week since we’ve met. He’s sweet and has kids of his own… he’s an entrepeneur.. has a car.. his own house… pretty much everything I want in a man if I was looking for one.

He called Jaylen his step-son and I instantly freaked out. He’s never met them in person but will see them every now and then when we are on video call.

I literally hung the phone with him. I was not prepared nor am I ready for ANYONE to say that. I’m dating for fun, not for a relationship right now. He knows this and he agreed he was doing the same thing. But then he starts to claim my child and states he’s falling for me..

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Milf. 2.0 — November 27, 2016

Milf. 2.0

One day you wake and decide you want to do something crazy like drive across the country with $5 to your name… but since I’m not that big of a dare devil I decided to chop off  all my hair. This isn’t something new for me, I cut my hair off a couple times before. Only this time around it’s much shorter and I’m keeping it like this for a while, I’m thinking 5+ years.

I first decided to do the big chop about 5 years ago when I broke up with my high school love. We went through DRAMA.. years of drama and I felt like my hair needed to go along with him. I loved it back then but quickly missed the look of longer hair so I grew it back out. After having Jaylen in 2013, my hair basically fell out of my head because of lack of vitamins and nutrients. I didn’t really have much of a choice but to cut it or walk around with bald spots. I wanted to keep the short look but my ex (their father) wanted me to grow it back out.Maybe the short hair made him question his own masculinity? LOL.

Anyways, his wish came true. My hair quickly grew back because at the time I couldn’t afford to visit the hair salon every two weeks to maintain the short do.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago…

I honestly looked at myself in the mirror.. admired my new body and the amount of weight I lost over the last few weeks… and something just seemed off. I felt like I didn’t look like myself. So I made an appointment and put my head in the hands of a professional.

I AB-SO-LUT-ELY LOVE my new look. I feel amazing. I feel like a 24-year old woman. My confidence level is on 100. And the amount of attention I’m receiving is definitely unexpected. I’m in love with the new me.

“Do more of what makes you happy.”

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LEFT: Before the big chop and midway through my weight loss journey,                             RIGHT: After the big chop

 

 

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So thankful. — November 25, 2016

So thankful.

The past two weeks have honestly taken the top spot of my favorite moments in 2016.

Starting off with my birthday, which really didn’t go as planned. I had fun… maybe too much fun but it was TOTALLY worth it. The day of my birthday was spent with two of my favorite people, my mom and one of my best friends. We went to Painting With A Twist and instantly became artists. I was showered with love the entire day as soon as the clock hit 12:00 am. That day made me realize how many people I have supporting me and loving me, even people that I don’t really communicate with on a regular basis.

The following Saturday, I went out with one of my good friends. It was like a sequel of the hangover… we just won’t talk about it. LOL

The next day, I spent preparing for my pharmacy tech exam. I’ve been studying for this exam since June of this year. A lot was riding on whether I passed this exam or not. If I didn’t pass, I knew I was going to wake up the next day without a job… the feeling of the unknown was eating me alive.

I walked into the testing facility sweating bullets. I honestly wanted to shit my pants. I only shared with a few people that I was taking the exam that night because I feared the possibility of failure.

But guess what…

I made that exam my B****H. (Sorry not sorry for the explicit.)

I fell to the ground with buckets of happy tears rolling out of my eyes when I saw the word PASS on my screen. Two days later and it STILL feels unreal.

I AM SO RELIEVED.

I can do nothing but thank God! Thank him for helping me to retain the information that I studied over these last few months.

I can’t lie… the test was HARD. Extremely challenging. My confidence level was brought all the way back to reality during the exam. But it’s over now and I could not be happier.

This thanksgiving, I am thankful for my amazing support system. My immediate family, my friends, my AMAZING co-workers, and of course my two boys. I am thankful for God allowing me to be blessed with this great group of individuals.I am also very thankful to be out for the toxic situation I was in earlier this year. My blessings have been flowing ever since.

I know it’s hard to reflect and look at the positives from this year, especially after enduring such a controversial election… an election that brought out the ugly in everyone. But try it. Try to sit down and really appreciate and be thankful for the blessings you have received this year.

Happy thanksgiving everyone from my family to yours.

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Another year… — November 15, 2016

Another year…

Today is the day.

Today is MY day.

Anyone who knows me knows that November 15th is at the top of my favorite days of the year.

This past year was eventful. Twenty-three was a GREAT one. I gained a lot and lost a little. I learned a lot, achieved way more than expected, cleaned up my friend’s list, and lived my life EXACTLY how I wanted to.

I am beyond BLESSED! I honestly cannot complain. I am happy. I am content. I am full of life.

Twenty-four will be even better. I want to explore the world and continue to break down the walls I have built up. I want to continue to be the best, bad a** mom I can be. I want to continue to strive for greatness!

Happy birthday to me!

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Never will I ever.. — November 11, 2016

Never will I ever..

This past election has completely changed our world, changed my views of the world I live in, and changed my opinion about a LOT of people.

Before I begin my rant of the hour, I want whoever is reading this to RESPECT my opinion. If you do not agree with what I have to say, I openly invite you to comment. But do not, I repeat, DO NOT disrespect me. Also, I will not argue with you about how I feel and the same goes when the tables are turned…

This election… this decision America collectively made early Wednesday morning set us back 50+ years. Yes, Trump is a white, privileged, heartless, and ungrateful asshole. EVERYONE knows that. But he is only one man who, just a few days ago, had little to no power. We had the opportunity to not fall for his antics, not give him the attention he was seeking… but WE failed. We have failed ourselves and we have failed others.

It’s sad that some Americans would rather vote for a disrespectful bigot than see a woman in charge. It’s sad that we even let someone of such character even get this far! This man brought out the ugly in everyone whether you were a supporter or opposer. He channeled the stupidity and ignorance in their souls.

President Obama broke down so many barriers in our world. He opened up doors that seemed sealed shut. He gave us all hope that ANYTHING can happen if you set your mind to do it. He was our voice of reason, he was a breath of fresh air.

America has poisoned themselves. Other countries have threatened to disown us, go to war against us… even allies want to leave us high and dry.

Trump wants to make the rich richer, he could care two sh*ts about the poor. And when I say poor, I don’t mean the homeless man on the street or the mom of three working minimum wage. When I say poor, I mean US… YOU. Every middle class American is POOR in his eyes. We are not on the same level as him and he will take action to make sure it stays that way.

This is not a black or white issue. This is not a man or woman issue. This is blatant disrespect. This is punishment for letting a man who valued everyone and fought for JUSTICE and EQUALITY, working hard to make things happen that we didn’t think was possible.

America was not perfect before or during President Obama terms. Believe me, we had a LONG way to go. But we were making steps in the right direction!

I am disappointed in America. I am disgusted to be called an American. This is humiliating.

I will never call that man my president.

Now or ever.

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Slept with the devil. — November 5, 2016

Slept with the devil.

This world is full of many different kinds of people. Sometimes you can see someone’s true colors from day one, but many others take a while before the real starts to surface. Growing up my mom always said “be careful who you call a friend”.. and I rolled my eyes every time I heard it. When I became an adult and started to experience REAL problems, I finally decided that maybe my mom was right after all?!

I slept with the devil and now I get burned every day of my life. I slept with someone who I thought was heaven sent. I kept saying to myself “God picked this man for me”OH BOY was I wrong!

I always try to find the good in everyone but I literally can’t find it in this one. One minute I think I found something and then 2 seconds later, I’m proved once again why I’m wrong.

This demon has emotionally abused me to the point where I have considered doing things that are out of my character and morals. It’s gotten to the point that now he’s “trying” to take away two of my most precious items, my valuable gems.

When will this stop? 

This demon wants to see me suffer. It wants to bring pain into my life. This demon is battling their own personal demons and wants to bring their hurt onto other people. The smile I carry on my face every day is a threat to them.

The scariest thing in life is not knowing someone’s true intentions. They could be a miracle in disguise or a person trying to break you down by every mean necessary. Be careful who you let into your world. Be careful about the decisions you make.

We’re human so we’re bound to run into a demon every now and then. But remember demons don’t live on forever. They become weak when they don’t have someone’s attention and energy. Demons ALWAYS disappear.

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