The Life of a Young Mama

weekly blog about a mom of two.

S-E- — March 3, 2017

S-E-

Forewarning: this post may be little much but whatever. If you’re comfortable reading about sex, then continue to read. If not, then I’ll see you next week!

Sooo let’s dive right into it..

I’m clearly not a virgin. I’m a woman with needs or whatever you want to call it. And yeah, I’m not married (never been married) so bite me if you think my life decisions are “wrong” .

Trust and believe I’ve heard the lecture far too many times. My grandmother still to this day mentions it and I’m like um, ya know it’s a little too late for that ya know? Don’t get me wrong, if you believe in abstinence then DO YOU BOO BOO. I totally don’t knock anyone’s decision to wait until marriage. I chose not to. Why? Because I don’t want to wait until marriage and find out my husband has a 0.5 inch penis and no stroke game. Then I’m stuck with this for the rest of my life.

MY LIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEE.

My WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.

Before I get married, I want to do everything with my man. I want to live together because being with someone and LIVING with someone are two different things and two VERY different people. I want to connect with them on every level: physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually. I feel that this will help us to know if we’re completely satisfied with one another.

The reason why I’m talking about sex is because I’ve chosen to wait a while before crossing that line with the person that I’m interested in. Before I was like oh hey, let’s do the deed. Maybe not the first night but after a couple of dates… but now I’m waiting, really waiting. The guys that have recently tried to talk to me are extremely pissed. But I guess that’s a good thing! It shows me that they weren’t really into me, they were more interested in the power that I carry down under.

In no way, shape, or form, do I think this will help me find my true love faster. I have friends who literally will sleep with any guy they think that’s cute and then I have friends who are practicing abstinence. Both sides have failed and successful relationships. So in reality, it doesn’t matter what you chose to with your va-jay-jay… every situation is different but neither have a better success rate than the other.

I think this decision has helped me to clear my head and open my eyes. I’m thinking with my right mind and not my ripe vag.

tinder

<3 — February 11, 2017

<3

Have you ever wanted to show someone love that they’ve never experienced before, a love you KNOW they are deserving of? It hurts to see someone you care for hurting over something they have complete control over. No matter how many times you try to guide them to the light, they will always return back to where they first started.

I just want to grab them and be like “LET ME SHOW YOU HOW AMAZING LIFE COULD BE.

Why do we settle for what we know is no good for us? Is it because it’s already established? Are we afraid to start over? We know exactly what the arguments are going to be about, exactly why we’re unhappy, but yet we continue to put up with it because it’s our “safe spot”. We don’t want to enter the unknown. We don’t want to put in the effort to start over.

With Valentine’s day quickly approaching, I think we all need to practice self-love. Take a step back and see if you’re doing everything you need to do to make yourself happy. Are you loving yourself? If no, then WHY NOT?

Loving yourself means more than just admiring your outer appearance. Do the decisions you make every day add to your happiness? Or are you really stressing yourself out? Are you taking the necessary steps to remove that stress from your life? Or are you settling?

Spend the 14th by pampering your d*%# self.

Love yourself. 

download

 

Numero uno. — February 8, 2017

Numero uno.

This post is WAY overdue but I wanted to include Julian’s first-year photos and they weren’t quite ready yet.. but guess what? My baby is no longer a baby anymore… well officially.

On January 15, 2017, my second born turned one and the week leading up to the big day was filled with emotion. I spent every minute observing him… trying to not to miss a single thing, trying to figure out how this year flew by so fast, and also trying to figure out how I can stop time.

I said I didn’t want to have any more kids and I still joke about it with friends and family but who am I fooling? Why should I deprive my husband of something he may want just because of my own selfish feelings?

I guess what I mean by not wanting more kids is that I don’t want them right now or in the near future! I don’t want to create another life with an empty soul. I don’t want to be responsible for another human that’s not brought into this world through love.

I don’t regret my children, I could and would NEVER. My boys are my EVERYTHING. But their father and I robbed them of having a life that is different than our own. Not saying their life will be horrible but there will be times where they will question themselves and their entire existence because of US.

Julian was sent from God. He came at a time when I needed him most. Once again, I was in a very dark place in my life and he provided the right amount of light. These boys give me purpose. They give me the drive to keep doing what I should be doing and the strive to do MORE. They are taught me love. They removed the hate from my heart and replaced it with positive thoughts and emotions.

-Fun facts-

Julian started walking at nine months, around the same time as Jaylen. He has four teeth and curly long hair. Ju-Ju is a happy, chunky toddler. He loves life. He exudes positivity and radiates energy. He’s smart and has already developed a personality of his own. He’s so attached to his momma and I love every minute of it since Jaylen is his father’s child. He loves his brother. You would think these two were in the womb together by the way they interact. They hate being apart.

picture5
Trisey Photography

 

picture8
Trisey Photography
Dear Mr. Donnie, — January 31, 2017

Dear Mr. Donnie,

WHAT THE F@*K ARE YOU DOOOOOIIIINNNNGGG, BRO?

It’s only been a little over a week since this spawn of Satan was sworn in as “president” and he’s already running our country into shambles. The guy is SICK.

Donnie, why do you think it’s okay to ban a group of people because of their religion? Remember our country.. the land of the free?  Or did you forget along with the fact that your wife is an immigrant as well… and your kids are not full blown Americans? That your buildings were most likely built by someone of a different race/religion? Along with the house you used to live in, the clothes on your back, and the cars you drive?

Or how about the people that guard your new place of residence? The people who are paid to protect your overly tan behind? Your maids? Your nannies because I’m sure you don’t have the time nor patience to take care of them yourself… YOUR FRIENDS? Your friend’s friends? Their family? Do you see where I’m going here?

Donnie…  you’re scared. You’re scared of the world you live in. You’re scared that someone will come in and take everything away from you. I get it. I’m scared too! But that fear should never turn into hate against an entire group of people who did nothing to you.

Hate creates loneliness. Hate for others turns into self-hate.

To the people have been affected by this man’s actions, just know that we love you and we appreciate you. We accept you. YOU ARE WANTED.

We need to stick together as a country, we CANNOT let this man nor the negative actions of anyone else drive us apart. We are strong but we are even stronger when we work TOGETHER. 

tumblr_ms7sguuhw61qzberoo5_500

Grow some. — January 22, 2017

Grow some.

Men all over the world,  I need you to do me one favor:

GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.

Not all of you but a good chunk of you are embarrassing. I’ve been told many of times that I am intimidating. They said they’re “not used to a woman who is doing everything with no handouts” and that they’re “impressed but intimidated because they feel challenged”.

Excuse me, WHAT? 

Am I doing something wrong? Is it wrong for me to have a job, a roof over my head, and a decent vehicle? Is it wrong for me to want a man but not need one? Or am I just attracting the wrong group of men?

I feel like if you have your sh*t together, no one should intimate you. My life is not perfect nor will I sit here and act like I don’t ask for help every now and then. I am doing what I thought I was supposed to do as a 24-year-old woman with two kids. To be honest, I don’t even feel like I’m doing enough!

These men that approach me don’t even take the time out to get to know me before judging my life.

I’ve been told I look expensive but little do they know I’m the queen of sales and rarely buy anything full price. I’ve been told that I look bougie but they don’t even realize I’ll pick eating chicken wings from the hood coney island over a five-star restaurant ANY DAY.

I’m sorry that you’re used to a female walking around with nothing going for themselves. I’m sorry that my lifestyle is something strange for you. Maybe you should stop looking for a wife in a woman who can’t even afford a piece of gum. Maybe you should have higher standards for yourself and the women you pick to stick your peen peen in.

I’m not knocking anyone who has one night stands or go into strickly sex relationships. But that’s not what I want. I guess expecting a man to pursue ME and not my pants is intimidating, right? Wow, you actually have to try to get to know me! It’s so hard I know.

And I repeat:

I KNOW ALL MEN ARE NOT LIKE THIS.

I genuinely appreciate the ones that are not. Understand that you are a rare breed and you should not settle as well!

But to the rest of you imbeciles…

8730962

Relationship goals? — January 18, 2017

Relationship goals?

Did you catch Obama’s farewell speech? Can we take a moment and talk about the way Obama drooled over his wife? Out of a room filled with thousands of people, he stared in her eyes like she was the only one in attendance.

What are relationship goals?

I mean do we really want to go around having the same relationship as someone else? Everything looks good from the outside but you have to take a bite to reveal what’s on the inside to find out if you like it or not. President Obama and his wife could have a horrible relationship but know how to put on a good face in public. I mean I highly doubt it but WE WILL NEVER KNOW.

There’s a lot of couples that I used to admire on social media, a lot of them were people I knew personally! They always looked so happy and in love but then the tables turned over one day to reveal some deep, dark and ugly behavior. Same with my last relationship. When it ended, a few people expressed how shocked they were because they viewed us as

Same with my last relationship. When it ended, a few people expressed how shocked they were because they viewed us as “relationship goals”. Some people found it hard to believe that we were going through things because of the great face we put on in public.

Honestly, that’s how it should be. I hate to watch couples go through things on social media. I hardly know half of them but can tell you the when, where, and why behind EVERY argument they have. I know people seek attention but it’s embarrassing. I know from experience because I used to do the same thing in my younger days.

I don’t really have relationship goals. I don’t admire my relationship to be like anyone else.

Butttttttt……

I’m also not saying that I don’t take tips and tricks from another relationships. You can appreciate qualities that others show in their whatever-ship.

Remain humble.

You will find that man is ready to commit to you 100%.

You find someone who isn’t afraid of showing you off to the world.

You will find that woman who will cook you dinner every night.

You will find your Michelle and Obama.

giphy.gif

Never satisfied. — January 13, 2017

Never satisfied.

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”

I want more. I don’t know how to get it but I want it. I think I may have set too many goals for myself this year… or is that even possible?

I’ve been battling back and forth with my job for the last couple of weeks. Things have been pretty hectic in the office and a lot of changes have occurred. I hate change but I hate being at a stand still. I’m confusing, I know.

Okay… I wouldn’t necessarily say I hate change but I hate sudden, unexpected change. Give me time to prepare and adapt. Give me some type of warning.

The changes that have happened recently have opened my eyes to my current position. It sparked a fire inside me to go get more.

BUT HOW.

I don’t know what path I should take to get there. I don’t know which way I should move. I am completely lost.

It feels like everyone around me is moving at speeds that I want to be. That growth and progression that I’m trying to get seems to come so easy for others.

Have you ever felt like you will never be satisfied? You constantly want more and more for yourself but will that desire ever die? Will I ever get to that level of satisfaction and contentment?

I try to tell myself that I am blessed every day. Maybe it is selfish of me to be so dissatisfied when there are plenty of others who are nowhere near my status in life. But if I shoot down my wants and desires for more, is that settling?

I’m tired of adulting. I think I gave the grown-up life a try but it’s not working out for me. I quit. lol

my-whole-life-in-one-gif-16973

Twenty seventeen. — December 31, 2016

Twenty seventeen.

I am BEYOND excited for 2017 to finally arrive. 2016 was a great year. The good definitely surpassed the bad events that occurred in my life. I started the year off right with the birth of Julian and a few short weeks after I was hired at my current job! I went through the sh*ts with their dad for a few months but I finally opened my eyes and realized my worth. Left him in the summer and my life has been LIT since then. Blessings on blessings have been flowing.

I have major milestones and goals I want to achieve in 2017.

  1. Buy a new vehicle
  2. Pay off my credit cards
  3. Open a savings account
  4. Land a management position at my job
  5. TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL
  6. Start a YouTube Channel
  7. Gain more followers on my blog

I also want to continue to spread positivity! There are so many things wrong in this world and I think sometimes we forget to recognize the good.

I know this time next year everything on this more and maybe a few other things added will be checked off. I’m claiming it now.

A lot of people are “leaving things in 2016” but I’m focusing on what I’m bringing into the new year. I’m bringing amazing friends and my supportive family. I can honestly say that there is not one person in my group of love that I doubt.

I’m stepping into 2017 with my confidence on level 100.

Bring it on 2017.

Happy New Year 2017 Animated Images.gif

Chronicles of dating… — December 11, 2016

Chronicles of dating…

There’s really married a** men out here cheating. I hear the stories all the time but never was approached by one. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been hit on by men in relationships.. but I’m talking about girlfriends or situationships.. NEVER a married man..  SIX-year long marriage to be exact.

I  will not say names. Let’s just say he’s a very popular guy in the metro Detroit area. When he first slid in my DMs on Instagram, I didn’t think anything of it. Then he slid the # of one of his two phones into my inbox as well without me asking for it. :/

He rarely posts his wife on social media nor does she attend any of the bigger events in the area with him. Last time I saw her on his page was about a year or two ago, so I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt… ya know maybe they’re separated or divorced and he didn’t make it public. I wanted to get the truth out before I just dismissed him altogether.

So how do you ask a man if he’s married without actually asking?

Simple: you don’t.

Come on, if I would’ve come straight out and asked him he would lie duh. What cheating man do you know or have heard of that’s just like “yeah, I’m married”.

My friend and I turned into inspector gadget and sure enough, he’s “happily” married or he is on Facebook. He posted his wife exactly a month ago expressing his “love”. They have three very young children together as well.

LORDT. 

He’s cool person  but I don’t know if keeping a friendship with him is the right thing to do. I feel very uncomfortable it all.

Now, on the other hand, I’ve been talking to this guy I met in October. He lives an hour away and he has come to visit me almost every week since we’ve met. He’s sweet and has kids of his own… he’s an entrepeneur.. has a car.. his own house… pretty much everything I want in a man if I was looking for one.

He called Jaylen his step-son and I instantly freaked out. He’s never met them in person but will see them every now and then when we are on video call.

I literally hung the phone with him. I was not prepared nor am I ready for ANYONE to say that. I’m dating for fun, not for a relationship right now. He knows this and he agreed he was doing the same thing. But then he starts to claim my child and states he’s falling for me..

single-11

Milf. 2.0 — November 27, 2016

Milf. 2.0

One day you wake and decide you want to do something crazy like drive across the country with $5 to your name… but since I’m not that big of a dare devil I decided to chop off  all my hair. This isn’t something new for me, I cut my hair off a couple times before. Only this time around it’s much shorter and I’m keeping it like this for a while, I’m thinking 5+ years.

I first decided to do the big chop about 5 years ago when I broke up with my high school love. We went through DRAMA.. years of drama and I felt like my hair needed to go along with him. I loved it back then but quickly missed the look of longer hair so I grew it back out. After having Jaylen in 2013, my hair basically fell out of my head because of lack of vitamins and nutrients. I didn’t really have much of a choice but to cut it or walk around with bald spots. I wanted to keep the short look but my ex (their father) wanted me to grow it back out.Maybe the short hair made him question his own masculinity? LOL.

Anyways, his wish came true. My hair quickly grew back because at the time I couldn’t afford to visit the hair salon every two weeks to maintain the short do.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago…

I honestly looked at myself in the mirror.. admired my new body and the amount of weight I lost over the last few weeks… and something just seemed off. I felt like I didn’t look like myself. So I made an appointment and put my head in the hands of a professional.

I AB-SO-LUT-ELY LOVE my new look. I feel amazing. I feel like a 24-year old woman. My confidence level is on 100. And the amount of attention I’m receiving is definitely unexpected. I’m in love with the new me.

“Do more of what makes you happy.”

picture1
LEFT: Before the big chop and midway through my weight loss journey,                             RIGHT: After the big chop

 

 

picture2